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Self-Sabotage is something we do to ourselves all the time. Many of us sabotage ourselves when we decide we want something by doing everything we can to ensure we don’t get it. Sound familiar? Although self-sabotage is a subconscious behavior, you can get a handle on it.
On the Facebook Live I shared how throughout the 9 months of training as a Master Teacher just how often I took the time to remind myself just how imperfect I was. How I would not be able to live up to the standard Lisa Williams and her school standards, and that I would probably fail. If I chose to follow that poor advice instead of face my fear and pursue the dream I wanted, I never would have become a Master Teacher, a qualification she awards to very few.
There are many reasons why you may sabotage yourself. It’s an extremely common behavior, rooted in a fear of the unknown. If you’ve immersed yourself in mediocrity, the idea of greatness can be frightening. Yet does choosing comfort, make you satisfied with your life?
HERE A FEW WAYS YOU MAY SELF-SABOTAGE:
- Control. You might self-sabotage because you have a need to be in control of your circumstances. The easiest and most certain way to stay in control is to maintain the status quo. It prevents you from being vulnerable and making a fool of yourself.
- Low self-esteem. Do you feel unworthy of greatness?
- For whatever reason, you may have decided that what you want to achieve is beyond your reach is a self-limiting idea, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Fear. Perhaps you perceive that you will fail or be a huge success. Perhaps you feel you will not be perfect or that people will judge you. The status quo is then the only option – or is it?
If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, fear not: there are steps you can take to put yourself on the path toward self-mastery.
CONSIDER THIS PROCESS FOR DEFEATING YOUR SELF-SABOTAGE:
- Observe your behavior. First off, it’s essential that you begin to observe yourself. You can effectively do this by creating a self-sabotage journal. Make a journal entry every time you realize that you’ve sabotaged yourself. Describe the setting, circumstances, and end result. Avoid over-analyzing.
- Most often, our true intentions are most evident in our actions, rather our words. – Pushing myself into doing workshops for large groups even though it scared me spoke about my vision and not my fear.
- Strive to be an impersonal observer in your journal. Eventually, you’ll gain a better understanding of your motives in certain situations.
- Envision success. Keep in mind that success is neither black nor white. Cultivate the habit of envisioning what success means to you and remember how it feels to achieve it. If you do this consistently, you may find that what you envision changes over time. A vision board here is a great idea. I didn’t mention it in my Facebook live, but it will remind you of what you want.
- Let go of the notion of perfection. As you visualize success, are you still thinking that success equals perfection? If so, it’s time to realize that nobody is perfect.
- This is what George Bernard Shaw would refer to as “doublethink.” Perfection and life are mutually exclusive because perfection is unattainable. Your subconscious won’t allow you to achieve success if you associate success with the impossible task of being perfect.
- If you associate success with fear, your subconscious will fight you the entire way. Why? Because its primary function is to protect you from perceived threats. Make a list of you fears and only work on the real fears not the future orientated ones.
Give yourself permission to anticipate success with excitement and not fear. Perhaps you’ve been sending your subconscious the message, “Don’t give me success!” So, let’s put your self-sabotaging behaviors in the past! Do daily affirmations towards succeeding at what you want to achieve.
- Look at the journey as part of your growth instead of a pass or a fail.
- So what if you fail? It was the learning that took place by taking yourself through the whole process that was more valuable that the certificate of the well done at the end.
Until next week
Sarah Brink – www.sarahbrink.com
